finally

woww woww wow!!! : )
haha man, its been a month since i last updated my blog. phew!!
eversince school started, i was so busy with homework, seminars and all those surprise quizzes that, i bearly had time to do anything else other than study and work. terrible terrible terribleeee. school's a silent killer. i tried to run away somehow, from this stress that constantly accumulates in me, but there's no where to go. competition, stress, ambition, success- all these are parallel to total madness, extreme torture and ultimate hell, seriously.

who said uni life's ALL fun and not at all stressful?? that person's a psycho, a goondu, a pig, a super stupid irritating big fat liar. he/she should go and get himself/herself a cup of hot milk and cookie, sit by the window and think- carefully reflect and ponder, 'why was i so stupid to make such a lame comment, I don't deserve to eat the cookie and drink my milk. damn, i'm so stupid, i'm a freak.'

ok, this is freakier.

don't misunderstand, i'm not saying that university life is a complete bullshit, and that i'm not having fun at all. i did make a bunch of new friends and my professors are reasonably entertaining and open that lessons are pretty much interesting and engaging...wait, pause. did i just say friends?

hmm. well, in university i think its kinda hard to make friends. true friends, i mean. friends, to me, are those who don't question you, who are willing to take most of your shit without complaining, who are present when you need a pair of listening ears, who are caring and concerned about your condition, who bother to take some time off to talk to you and have a drink or two, even if the time is not at all appropriate. but in uni, in korea, its not very easy to find one who is willing to give me as much care and concern as i am willing to give them. most of them dont want to give at all. is it just me? hmm. well. maybe i'm thinking too much that i myself am refrainig to open up whole-heartedly. ha.

sometimes i get so upset, you know. i wonder whats wrong with these freaks that overpopulate seoul. my political science teacher has told us, human-beings are self-lovers and this is what makes this world so sick. haha i know! i kinda agree with him, and yes, this thing i'm going through is life, it is the reality and this perhaps could be the start of the magnificent "adult-world". the idea that the people coming to me only when they need me, only when they feel they can benefit from me, they come to me only when i have something that they don't have- makes me think that WE human-beings are superficial bunch of monkeys. what sacres me the most is the fact that I myslef could now be revolutionalising into such barbaric monkey too. ahhhh sharks. i never want to be a monkey.:( Influence - my worst enemy? please don't turn me into a completely destroyed hollow piece of human nut-shell. maybe this could be the reason why i've been desperately seeking God recenly, trying to keep myself extremely close to God, away from the bad influences. ahh people. if you notice weird change in me, please tell me off!!!!!!

Underwood International College.
its a liberal arts college that I am in right now, in yonsei university. my fellow classmates and i are the pioneers of the college, i.e, we;re the first batch of UIC. its a brand new course "designed to make global leaders and korean representatives, to make the best and the most effective people in the world, according to my dean. hmmm,,really? the course divides its majors into 3 different fields: lifescience n tech/ economics, political science and international relations, and comparative literature. I chose the field of political science and IR and bleh. its super tough. been a science student all these while(ahh yes, there's nth to be proud of, as i'm aware that i screwed up my sciences for A's lol), and suddenly changing my focus to something which i'm not quite familiar with kinda places me at the tip of the cliff. sigh i began to regret and wonder if i've made the wrong choice or if i've been wrong about own capabilities, since the third day of school. it's only the third day of school and i'm starting to get confused. diaos.

the courses that i take:
1) Introduction to pol.sci.
2) East Asian History
3) East Asian Literature
4) Writing Tutorial
5) Modern Christianity
6) Calculus
haha why calculus? in year one, everyone is required to take one maths or science subject. and why writing tut and modern christianity? i don't know, its just compulsory.

I have signed up for quite a no. of extra curriculum activities too, well not that i'm going to take up all of them and murder my own self, i'll definitely drop one by one as work continues to bother me and get on my intolerable nerves. hmm i have signed up for the korean traditional percussion group(my fav!), the health and fitness club(which i think will make me some super muscular 'WANG(chinese character)-tummy' woman), the sign language club, christian ministry and volunteer club, traditional chinese medicine club(which you are made to conduct accupuncture on yourself for experience and skill practice, yea freaky) and last but not least, women rights group. madness aye? i know its alot.:) but nah. considering that for some clubs, i havent even gone for any meeting yet and by now, probably my membership's been striked off already.

ahh the drinking culture in korea.
crazy, ill, terrible culture that korea should definitely get rid off.
before i left spore, dad and mum kinda taught me how to drink and i slowly learnt about my own alcohol-intake-limits and got to know some drinking manners. i drink pretty well, drink well as in i can take alcohol pretty well. but in korea, the amount i normally drink, is nothing. people just drink and drink; after school, before work, during breaks...and it gets worse when peers force you to drink. and if you dont drink, you would be treated like some loser or an outcast, damn the peer pressure.

i personally had a terrible experience. once i went out for supper after sm band performance with a bunch of friends in class, and due to excessive drinking which i was forced to gulp down, i fainted(seriously), and had to suffer 2 days of horrible nausia. it was that, i was made to drink till i fainted and when i woke up after 2 hours i started to puke, and puke for the next two days. i wasn't able to swallow up anything, or for that matter, even maintain myself sane and well. after that incident, even till now, i am not able to drink. the experience had made alcohol my no.1 fear and whenever i smell or taste alcohol, i would feel all puky and unwell. phew, perhaps my body is telling me never to drink too much again. alcohol~ bad stuff!

ahh hostel life!
haha hosel life's not bad tho. infact, its great! lol at first, i was so lonely and sad, and i missed my parents and my friends so much that, nightly, i couldn't help but cry and cry and cry, and eventually lose control and cry out loud, till the girl next door came knocking on my door to ask me to keep quiet. oops. with an "almost-independent-life" in hostel, i now have to do my own laundry, cleaning, mopping, grocery shopping, and waking up on my own- this is the toughest thing can?! haha yep, honestly,,i was never once early for my lessons. always right on time, or a few minutes late if i haven't the luck. phew!! food here in hostel isnt too bad, the facilities are good, and they have lenient curfew imposed on us(1a.m. in the morning). :) oh and my roommate's awesome! sweet-natured, mother-like, strong-willed, helpful, caring and chubby little country-side lady, i love her to bits. we're pretty similar and we seem to connect well.


ahh, my birthday! 2nd of march.
it was the very day that my uni life started, and i told myself again and again not to expect anything this year so that i wont get disappointed even if i get absolutely nothing at all. i mean its obvious. i havent made many friends yet, and those friends would have no idea that its my birthday. it didnt matter anyway- it didnt really feel like my birhday that day. but seriously!! not even a single birthday wish from anyone?? hmm.

that night, i was trying to get some reading done for the next class, and my hp alarm went off at 11.45p.m. time to get ready for bed..then i realised my rmmate had not returned home yet. hmm she told me she would be back by 11, i began to worry and i gave her a call, and she said she was caught up with some agenda and she would be a lil late. just before midnight, someone was knowcking hard on the door and was asking me to open the door. and upon opening the door, oh my gosh, it was my roommate holding a coffee cream cake with candles. with a satisfied grin, she said to me, 'phew, i'm on time! i thought i would be late! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL!' :)) for a few seconds, i just stood there , all stunned and pleasantly surprised. i looked at her with my tearful eyes,,,and i gave her a warm smile and a hug. i was so touched, i was so grateful and delighted. ahh she moved my heart totally,can?! someone cares for me...i'm not alone, i realised. i feel blessed to have such a roommate. thank you thank you :)

ohoh!! i bought a webcam! whee-weet!! : )

hmm. there are so many other things to write about that happened in march alone, but i guess i should stop here for now. think i wrote too much. i kinda feel lazy to type out those now too heehee/ am just super busy. really really really busy. i'll continue soon ya?

missing you: ))

a special personal note to friends in the sunny island:

1) wangliang: hehe finally i've updated my blog. :) i am so lucky to have you with me, thank you for taking all my shit sweetly. you're superb!

2) kenneth: haha you sensitive ppb! i'm not angry with you las.lol was just super busy with the portal and e-homework that i kinda neglected you online. sorry dude :) miss you so much!

3) yeongeun: yea, she sucks, girl. dont care about nic and just focus on your o's alright? i'm praying for you every night! believe in yourself and be confident. and remember to pray and seek God for guidance, He will help you and He will always be there to strengthen you.

4) alan: ahh you are attached now!! hahaa no more singlehood, be good to her:) i'm happy you went your way, and found the light that is brighter and warmer. oh and i am sorry, alan. i took such a long time to update my blog lol.

5) pl-lites: heyhey!!! miss you girls so much! ilona, i was wondering how your scholarship thing went. bet you got in aye!! :)) take care alright?

6) matu boy: army seems to be tiring you down hell loads and giving you much stress. be strong and think of your good and pretty friend gayeong when you feel weak, that will make you powerful. heh, God loves you, God bless you,pal.

7) leon: haha i checked out leon.blogspot.com..really thought it was your blog la! bummer!! lol you always bring laughter into my life.

8) hanyi: sorry, i over-reacted. i'm happy for you both and from the bottom of my heart, you guys have my blessings. i miss you, bro.

9)nadia: my love! hehe i miss you so much! are you doing fine in new zealand??

10)waysi and kat: where art thou?

11) peishan, cailin, zhencong, jireh, junming, pengjuay, munting, lee han: argh!! i'll reply your mails soon!!! hehe thank you so much for writing tho. xiexie ni so much.

its april fool's day! :))